Wednesday, February 1

Thursday Not-13

Was thinking of a Thursday Thirteen but then got inspired in a different direction. Just came from Momhood where she has a lovely post about mothers, daughters and family resemblance. It made me think of this picture of myself with my mom and my five sisters, taken on Mother's Day last year. My momma is at the top, center. Isn't she beautiful? Then there's sister #1, me, at the back right, wearing blue. Sister #2 is at the back left. Sister #3 is in black at the front right. #4 is wearing mint green (and an adorable haircut as always) at the front left. #5 is lounging across the middle. Then there's sister #6, the baby of the family, directly below my mother.



These women are precious to me. They've played cello in my wedding (#4), cared for my children (all), traveled to Korea (#5) and Ethiopia(#6) with me, been pregnant with me (#2, 3, and 5), and cheered me on at every stage of life. Two are expecting babies now, #5 by birth, and #3 from Ethiopia (!!!) and I am so excited for them.

But, back to Momhood's topic. I have often looked at my mom and thought-- if this is what getting older looks like, then I'm not afraid of it. And I suppose my younger sisters must have had similar thoughts, looking at me as a possible preview of the future. I suppose most of us with living biological family take those kinds of glimpses for granted.

But we shouldn't take it for granted. I think of my adopted daughters. They will most likely never have those glimpses until they are mothers themselves. And then the glimpses will only be backwards. I am grateful that because there are two of them, they do have a person of similar heritage looking back at them each day. There is that connection. But it is a loss for my girls to not have even a picture of a biological relative as a roadmap to the future.

They say that adopted daughters become like their adoptive mothers. Similar voices. similar inflections of words, similar facial expressions and gestures. That thought touches me, and I look forward to seeing that. But as I think more, I realize that there can be even more important similarities to be passed on-- as strongly and as truly as the shape of a nose or the color of hair.

Traits like kindness and generousity and good humor. These traits were passed through my mother and her mother and on through me. By God's grace these similarities will be passed on to all my daughters, both the daughters from my body and my daughters from women whose faces I only see reflected in the faces of their my OUR beautiful daughters. I hope and pray that my daughters will take strength from the rich heritage they possess, both from women here and from women on the other side of the world.

12 Comments:

At 8:09 AM, Blogger Perri said...

What a happy looking group. I always wanted a sister growing up. You were certainly blessed.

 
At 9:37 AM, Blogger "D" said...

man, I'm all jealous and coveting you... my mom passed away in '94 and I just have 2 estranged brothers. Sigh. Beautiful post you wrote though! My 13 are up.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger Courtney said...

What a nice post. Love the picture too! I have 1 sister and that's it for siblings. But my sister & I have always been close (even though she's 6 yrs older than me!) We even live in the same town now, and we both have 2 little boys each, so that's fun.

 
At 10:14 AM, Anonymous mar said...

Wonderful post, Owlhaven. How lucky you are to have such a family. Your daughters will all inherit what they are breathing through you every day. Kindness, generosity and good humor. Nobody can take that away from them! have a great day.

 
At 10:14 AM, Blogger Christy said...

What a blessing you all have in each other. What you have seems so rare these days...at least, I don't see it often. Your post brought me to tears. Thanks for sharing. I am encouraged in my relationship with my own sweet daughter.

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger Karen said...

Wow. What an honor that something I wrote inspired someone else to write something so beautiful. As I wrote my post, I did think about adopted children, although I don't have experience with it so I wasn't quite sure what to say. I think you've said it beautifully. You have a gorgeous family! You and your sisters are very, very lucky!

 
At 11:06 AM, Anonymous Martha said...

I wanted to say how much I loved your post. I have four sisters--I'm twenty and my sisters range from twenty eight to thirteen. We are all so close, and I look forward to the future when we can share our experiences of children together. I very much want to adopt from ethiopia after my husband and I finish our graduate degrees, and I find your christian perspective on adoption to be very useful. Thank you for blogging! I hope to start a blog someday soon too.

 
At 12:19 PM, Blogger Amber said...

Very lovely post. Good site too. I'll be back.

Thank you for visiting me!

Cheers.
A

 
At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is so beautiful. Thanks for the wonderful insight. I never had sisters, but I am so thankful that I have 2 daughters (so far). We have a precious relationship.
Also, Thanks for your help with the margins!
Faith

 
At 12:55 PM, Anonymous HolyMama! said...

I'm glad you skipped the 13, since we got to see this instead! (did that come out right? I don't know) I can't imagine how great it would be to have that many sisters. I have one and she's become my best friend. (Yep, your mom's gorgeous. As are you all, actually)

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger Mama D said...

That picture reminds me of my family. I have three older sisters (and an older brother). I honestly can't see much of a resemblance between my mother and myself or any of my sisters. Some of us look a bit similar but not to any extreme. I think we definately have inherited more attitude, expressions, the way we walk, laugh or cough. Your daughter's will all inherit your beautiful and giving heart. I think that's more important than looks any day!

 
At 4:45 PM, Blogger monica said...

That was awesome. :) Thank you for sharin gyour heart today.

Blessings & cheers,
Kdubs

 

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