Opinion Saturday #6
It's Opinion Saturday again. You give me your opinion on a topic. On Sunday evening I choose the best answer. The winner gets the "Golden Keyboard Award"-- see it to the right-- plus a link on my sidebar for a week, AND a code to put the award on their webpage for as long as they like.This weekend's topic is pierced ears for preschoolers. Would you pierce your little girl's ears? Why or why not?
Hit me with your best thought! If you prefer, you can give me a link in comments and answer this with a post on your own blog.
posted by owlhaven @ 7:04 AM
16 Comments:
I did pierce my little girl's ears when she was 6 months old. Honestly, I regret it now. We had nothing but trouble with different metals in her ears, etc.
My mom made me wait until I was in 8th grade to pierce my ears. We even had it done at the Doctor's office, not at Claire's boutique or a store at the mall.
But, if I were to do it over again, I would have waited until she was a little older, maybe 3rd grade or so.
(Just a comment, not an entry)
Have a great weekend, Mary!
I didn't. It hurts, and there's no purpose to it except to look cute. I let my girls have it done when they were ready and wanted to. And honestly, caring for a baby has so many requirements--who needs to worry about infected ears in addition?
I didn't. It hurts, and there's no purpose to it except to look cute. I let my girls have it done when they were ready and wanted to. And honestly, caring for a baby has so many requirements--who needs to worry about infected ears in addition?
As a "kidless" woman, I'll give you my completely amateur opinion on the whole matter of ear piercing. Personally, I think piercings should be a decision each person makes for themselves when they're old enough to make a responsible decision. For each person, this is a different age. I just think that every little person's personality is so different. Especially in infancy when you have no idea who that beautiful angel is going to be, parents should wait and see if the child even wants to have their ears pierced. My sister, for example, was as big a tomboy as they come. She would have hated it if my mom had pierced her ears before she had a chance to choose for herself. I just think that there are too many parents who do not allow their children to be their own individuals and express who they are (not who their parents want them to be). This is just another area in which a parent could subtly influence a child to become someone other than who they are. Now I realize as I say this that my opinion sounds pretty harsh. I'm not intending to be judgemental of those who have chosen otherwise. After all, the child could always choose not to wear earings as they grow up and are able to make the choice for themselves. Believe me, as a woman without children I would never try and tell someone that they were making parenting "mistakes" (unless abuse or neglect were involved, of course). Parenting seems way too complicated and the last thing we should be doing is judging each other, rather, support each other in the difficult decisions that have to be made. (Wow, see me back-peddle!)
As a "kidless" woman, I'll give you my completely amateur opinion on the whole matter of ear piercing. Personally, I think piercings should be a decision each person makes for themselves when they're old enough to make a responsible decision. For each person, this is a different age. I just think that every little person's personality is so different. Especially in infancy when you have no idea who that beautiful angel is going to be, parents should wait and see if the child even wants to have their ears pierced. My sister, for example, was as big a tomboy as they come. She would have hated it if my mom had pierced her ears before she had a chance to choose for herself. I just think that there are too many parents who do not allow their children to be their own individuals and express who they are (not who their parents want them to be). This is just another area in which a parent could subtly influence a child to become someone other than who they are. Now I realize as I say this that my opinion sounds pretty harsh. I'm not intending to be judgemental of those who have chosen otherwise. After all, the child could always choose not to wear earings as they grow up and are able to make the choice for themselves. Believe me, as a woman without children I would never try and tell someone that they were making parenting "mistakes" (unless abuse or neglect were involved, of course). Parenting seems way too complicated and the last thing we should be doing is judging each other, rather, support each other in the difficult decisions that have to be made. (Wow, see me back-peddle!)
After my daughter was born, it was the "trendy" thing to do. I have body piercing (tongue and ears) so naturally people expected me to pierce my daughter's ears. I was tempted to do so. My daughter had little to no hair and was always referred to as the "cute boy", however I would not make that decision for my daughter.
Piercing is an expression of one's self. If is rebellion, creativity or fashion, it should be left to the person that is being punctured to decide.
I also talked to a professional body piercer about it. Infants ears are still growing and therefor it is impossible to predict if the positioning of the piercing will be correct later on.
lol! One more point! I remember when my Dad decided I was "old enough" to go get my ear pierced. It was a moment I will never forget, feeling like a big girl, refusing to cry in front of my Dad, despite the pain.
I look forward to my daughter begging me to have her ears done and make it an unforgettable day!
(I may have to blog about this since I have so much to say)
After my daughter was born, it was the "trendy" thing to do. I have body piercing (tongue and ears) so naturally people expected me to pierce my daughter's ears. I was tempted to do so. My daughter had little to no hair and was always referred to as the "cute boy", however I would not make that decision for my daughter.
Piercing is an expression of one's self. If is rebellion, creativity or fashion, it should be left to the person that is being punctured to decide.
I also talked to a professional body piercer about it. Infants ears are still growing and therefor it is impossible to predict if the positioning of the piercing will be correct later on.
lol! One more point! I remember when my Dad decided I was "old enough" to go get my ear pierced. It was a moment I will never forget, feeling like a big girl, refusing to cry in front of my Dad, despite the pain.
I look forward to my daughter begging me to have her ears done and make it an unforgettable day!
(I may have to blog about this since I have so much to say)
My little girl is four and doesn't have her ears pierced. I was allowed as a child to get mine pierced on my tenth birthday--when I was old enough to be semi-responsible for taking care of them. It was something I looked forward to, and because I waited what I thought was an eternity to get them done, I really did do my best taking care of them.
A wise friend of mine once gave me the following advice:
"Be careful what you choose to give your children and when. Sometimes as parents we give our children things that are not necessary at the time--but would be great compromising tools as they get older."
Good, solid advice.
I'm a piercings girl myself (I have six). I started begging for pierced ears at six and was allowed to get them done on my eighth birthday as my birthday gift from my parents; even then, two years later, I had to let them grow closed because of a ripped earlobe. I also had multiple infections, so I think even 8 was a little young to care for the piercings properly...and when I think of my preschoolers' grubby fingers absently playing with piercced ears, I shudder a little bit, especially since reputable piercers recommend that you not touch or play with your piercing at all. It seems odd to inflict pain on a child, with the risk of infection, only for the purpose of looking cute, so waiting until the child a) wants and b) can care for a piercing seems sensible.
I think, too, that waiting creates the culture of piercing as a sort of rite of passage, and I think that's something that's lacking in American culture. The day I got my ears pierced (with both my parents and my brother there, while on vacation in California) is a huge day in my memory -- choosing the golden, heart shaped studs, the sensation of the pinch, feeling like I was a big girl now, and the delayed gratification of it all, the pride in having waited long enough and proven that I really wanted to do it.
It also drove home the lesson that altering your body is a huge decision. As my brother and I have become more pierced (both of us) and tattooed (him) over the years, we've both made wiser, calculated decisions about what we wanted to do and why, and we've both invoked self-inflicted "waiting periods" on ourselves. For instance, I got my nose pierced after living in Bangladesh as a sign of respect and solidarity for the Bengali women (all of whom are pierced) -- a choice that I agonized over but made because it was important to me to do something to make that culture and that experience a permanent part of who I am. To me, this means more than, say, the girl in one of my classes who just got a rat in a wheel tattooed on her upper arm or the coed who gets a drunken piercing on spring break. Then again, raising a "more concious" body alter-er may not be the first choice of most parents... ;) ....but it's better than the alternative!
Drat. I have no opinion on this one.
In my family (well, my mother's side of the family) almost all of the girls got their ears pierced as babies. My sister and I were the exception, because our father would not let our mother. When I was six years old and my sister was three, my mom took us to a boutique and had them done.
When we adopted Sahara, all of my aunts, my mom, my sister and my cousins wanted to know when we would pierce Sahara's ears. It was just a given in their minds. She was almost 9 months old and I didn't feel comfortable with it. BUT, when she turned one, I suddenly wanted to do it. It was a thing my family did and I didn't want Sahara to be different in our family. So, I pierced her ears at one year old.
When Claire was born, one of the requests of her birth mother was that we pierce Claire's ears when she was one month old. That was the tradition in Claire's birth mother's family. I agreed, but when she was one month old, she seemed too little to go through such a thing. It nagged at me that our daughter's birth mother hadn't really asked for anything else, but that we pierce her ears, and I wasn't doing it. When she was three months old, we took her to get her photos taken professionally for the first time. As we waited for the photos, we saw an ear piercing booth. My husband suggested we should pierce Claire's ears and keep our promise. I agreed. It was difficult for me to do it, but I felt so relieved once it was done. And, in my opinion, there's not much cuter than a little girl with pierced ears.
When we adopted Beth, she was 8 years old. She had had her ears pierced in Ethiopia as a young child. But one had grown closed, and needed to be re-done. We took her to the same place we took Claire. Beth was so proud to have pierced ears again, just like her sisters.
I think that once Georgia has settled into life here in America, I will get her ears pierced, too. She will be about 4 years old then, and all of her sisters will be wearing earrings. I will not want her to feel left out.
I have a couple of sister-in-laws that do not agree with us piercing our daughters ears so young. They have the "rite of passage" view point. I certainly respect that and in some ways think it would have been cool to do that with my girls, too. But early on with my first daughter, I chose to follow the traditions of my mother and her family. I do not regret it.
Luckily we have only had minor issues with earrings. I think starting young helped my daughters get used to them and to not mess with them. They all wear 14 karat gold hoops, unless the older ones want to change to something cutesy for the day. When they have become old enough, I have taught them to care for them on their own. Until then, it is my reponsibilty, though they are pretty easy to care for.
No, we wait until they are hold enough to care for the piercings and earrings. I have found this usually happens around the 8th birthday.
Although we initially said our girls had to be at least 8 before they got pierced ears, all of our daughters have them now. Our (then) 4-year-old begged to do it and we finally gave in. When we adopted our two Chinese daughters, we just did it. I guess I can't really offer a great reason why, but for what it's worth, we haven't had an iota of trouble with infections or anything. Our second adopted daughter was given a lovely buzz cut in the orphanage, and it was one thing we could do right off that would make her look more like a girl. ;o)
Tana
We feel that body piercings ought to be done with a husband's approval.
That being said, it seems highly unlikely that a future husband will object to a single ear piercing; for that reason, we let our girls have their ears pierced as soon as they are old enough to:
1) express a desire
2) take care of the piercings themselves (remember and apply the antibiotic)
This usually happens ~4yo.
As to other piercings, we don't have a problem - in theory. I had my belly button pierced on hubby's request. It was done only for him: I'm not a belly-flasher :)
However, some men might object to such piercings, so each of our daughters will be required to wait til marriage for these - and then it will be between her and her husband.
I wouldn't do it. I still remember a childhood friend who had pierced ears. Her earrings would get caught on her sweaters, and she didn't know how to get the off. Too much danger of torn earlobes, not to mention possible metal allergies and infections. I had mine done when I was in eighth grade, and had another one done as an adult, and got a HUGE infection from that one. Totally not worth taking that risk with a kid.
I posted on this subject today in my journal. www.strawberrykisses.us
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